Busy at work


Howdy everyone,

Just to let you know, this is my busy time of year at my real job. It usually starts at the beginning of December and runs through January. However, with some of the unexpected changes taking place, I find myself with a much larger load. It was necessary to begin earnestly working towards the end of January beginning in November. I have no less than 11 articles to write and provide graphics/photos before the end of December. We (I) are also in the middle of completely recreating our 30 x 20 trade show display, which must be finished by the end of December. Along with the normal 4 page customer quotes and helping to engineer customer systems, I find myself using the mornings (when I blog) to try and catch up.

No, I ‘m not complaining, I love what I do. Just trying to adjust to a very busy time. Hope to get back to blogging soon.

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To Pooped to Parent


“Not surprisingly, perhaps, the most likely candidates for early exhaustion are the parents who are radically committed to their children.” (Pg. 128)

So if you are worn out from your children, this could be evidence that you sincerely care about them. You are totally committed to them. However, it would be unhealthy to throw out all other relationships and activities because of your children.

He gives a funny example about parents that are so paranoid about leaving their children, their imagination gets a little carried away while they are enjoying some free time from the children. “Imagine how they would feel if the announcer said over the public address system, May I have your attention?  Would Mr. and Mrs. James Johnson come to a house telephone, please? Your baby-sitter needs to know where the fire extinguisher is.” (Pg. 128).

John 6

1After these things Jesus went away to the other side of )the Sea of Galilee (or Tiberias).

2A large crowd followed Him, because they saw the signs which He was performing on those who were sick.

3Then Jesus went up on the mountain, and there He sat down with His disciples.

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Why do they pursue conflict?

Raising the strong-willed child can leave parents not only exhausted but puzzled. Why would a child which you have sacrificed for, want to treat you with such disdain? What is the motive of a child, to talk disrespectful to the parents that have loved and nurtured that child from day one?

Dr Dobson describes it this way, “Yet the tough-minded kid goes through life like a runaway lawn mower.” “He’ll chew up anything that gets in his way.” (Pg.109)

“Deep within his or her spirit is a raw desire for power. We can define power in this context as control or control of others, control of circumstances and, especially, control of ourselves.”

Dr Dobson talks about how adults also seek this power to be in control, but that it “varies only in degree”, between individuals.

All of my life I thought, at meal time, you selected what you wanted to eat. The cook found out what you liked and catered to your taste buds. Until I was married. I watched my wife with our children during meal time. Oh yes, she made an attempt to give them something they liked within healthy limits. For many, many meals there was a power struggle. She was determined to teach them to like healthy foods. They were determined to eat what they wanted. It seemed much easier to me, to allow them to have something they wanted versus something they needed. But she pressed on even when she was considered the bad guy mommy. I can tell you without a doubt today, the 2 older kids enjoy eating healthy foods. They got what they needed, not what they wanted.

So based on his description, that we all have a desire to be in control at varying degrees, but some kids desire to control is beyond the norm. Couple that with their immaturity and you have an out of control possibility.

If we have built 1 an altar for ourselves to turn back from following the Lord by making 2 burnt sacrifices and grain offerings on it, or by offering 3 tokens of peace 4 on it, the Lord himself will punish us. Joshua 22:23

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When raising children – keep a sense or humor

“Laughter is the key to survival during the special stresses of the child-rearing years. If you can see the delightful side of your assignment, you can also deal with the difficult”. Pg 101

Dr Dobson tells the story of the 3 year old who learned that Jesus would come to live in the hearts of those who would invite them. One day the little girl put he ear up to her mommy’s stomach. The mother asked her what she was doing, she replied, “I’m listening to Jesus in your heart”. The mother asked if she could hear anything. And the little girls said it sounded like He was making coffee to me.

I’ve read where laughter necessitates many of the same skills as problem solving. And we have all read where some report that laughter can improve your health in some cases.

read more about laughter here

There is nothing better for 1 people 2 than 3 to eat and drink, and to find enjoyment 4 in their 5 work. I also perceived that this ability to find enjoyment 6 comes from God. Ecclesiastics 2:4

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Compliant children and their behavior

“God did not intend for adults and their parents to have the same relationship as they did when the kids were small”. (Pg. 96) Dr. Dobson

I think that is an interesting statement. It suggests there are parents who continue to treat their child at a certain maturity level though the child should be well past and beyond that stage. He is suggesting this is not the best thing for the compliant child. Maybe because they tend to rely on the adults behavior moreso than a strong-willed child.

“Growth and maturity demand that children wiggle free from their parents clutches and establish independent lives of their own”. (Pg. 96)

He makes a couple of other points about the compliant child, that its challenging for the compliant child to navigate through the daily life style of the strong-willed child. And there is a tendency for the compliant child to internalize their anger.

The best thing we can do for them is provide a firm and certain faith. Teach them their are consequences for their actions.

Let both grow together until the harvest. At 1 harvest time I will tell the reapers, “First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned, but then 2 gather 3 the wheat into my barn.” Matthew 13:30

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Overriding the negative emotions for your child

“When bonding fails to occur between parents and a particular child, both generations stand to suffer. The mother, especially, is likely to experience great feelings of guilt for her lack of affection for this individual”. (Pg. 84) Dr. Dobson

But as the image below illustrates we can override whatever prevents a parent from having the necessary affection for that child.

“First, I believe it is possible in many cases to override one’s emotions by an iron-clad determination of the will. Feelings often follow behavior. If you make up your mind to love and care for each of you children equally, you might be surprised to find that the barriers isolating that “special” boy or girl are crumbling”. (Pg. 86) Dr. Dobson

Truly I tell you, whoever says to this mountain, Be lifted up and thrown into the sea! and does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done for him.

For this reason I am telling you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe (trust and be confident) tha it is granted to you, and you will get it. Mark 11:23-24

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Responsibilites for you, Faith for your child

“Parents are accountable before God to meet their responsibilities to their children, He  is vitally concerned about their welfare. Jesus said that anyone who would hurt the faith of a little child would be better off sinking in the sea with a millstone attached to his neck”. (Pg. 81)

Loving your children is an obvious duty for a parent. But disciplining your child is also part of the obligation we have as parents. When we think about hurting a child, we sometimes think in terms of physical or verbal abuse which can and does sadly happen. But what about robbing them of the benefits of a strong faith. Aother facet of parenting is discipline. Failure to teach your child self-control can damage their faith. Now obviously the child must be willing to learn and obey. But if we want our kids to have strong faith, then discipline will be a part of their learning process.

Matthew 18:6

“But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, 1 it would be better for him to have a huge millstone 2 hung around his neck and to be drowned in the open sea.

Sorry about the gap between posts. I have been traveling as of late.

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