We are studying the book, “The Power of a Praying Husband/Wife” by Stormie Omartian. We will touch on all 20 chapters but not all of them will be posted here. I will also give a brief review at the end of the book. The book is published by Harvest House Publishers out of Eugene, Oregon and can be purchased at local Christian bookstores. I purchased the paperback for $12.99. I’ve added photos and graphics for your viewing pleasure.

One of the most profound statements from this book is as follows, “Don’t leave your marriage to chance“. This could be one of the most understated concepts in our lifetime.

Seeds in the marriage

“In order for a garden to not become a salad bar for hungry animals, it needs a fence around it to keep them out”.

(Stormie O)


Or you could just buy an elephant with a sledge hammer.

We have some pesky moles in our grass. When you walk on the yard you can feel your weight sink in large portions of the yard. It appears to be irreversible. This mob family of moles has taken over our yard. We are no longer in control of what happens in the front or back yard. Even Tucker our fearless Shih-Tzu is afraid to leave the house.

There is one particular patch (maybe 10 x 15) where the grass has completely stopped growing. Michelle stuck a shovel in the ground and turned it and she had a shovel full of grub worms (moles love grub worms I’m told).

Our neighbors have problems with moles too, or at least they used too. They did not sit around 2 minutes before taking action. They purchased two $40 traps at Gemmins and have hung 4 moles on their belt (killed/caught 4 moles). Wow! I’ve been told catching one mole is an achievement, but your lucky if you catch two. The lady next door must be the mole assassin of the neighborhood. If your a mole I highly recommend you skip the house next door. You don’t want to upset the mole “hitwoman”. Because she don’t play around when it comes to her yard or her garden.

We now own one of those mole traps. And I have something else up my sleeve if that does not work.

Maybe we should have this attitude when it comes to our marriage, to be quite serious about any dying patches or any pests no matter how small or large. Do whatever it takes to make things right. Remove the things that are not welcome.

Pg. 86-87

“If you have serious problems in your marriage, know that God can work miracles when you pray. He can change hearts and perspectives in an instant. He can uproot seeds of sin, resurrect love where it has died, and make it not only grow again, but flourish”.

I like that part, the “flourish” part.

“Cling to what is good in your marriage with all sincerity of heart, despise what the devil is trying to plant there. Pray that God will show you how to plant new seeds of unconditional love, (A garden has to be replanted every year.) With proper care, those seeds of love will produce a great harvest”.

Just like a garden, a marriage requires replanting. Are you surprised by this? I was when I first realized it.

If two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by my father in heaven. Matthew 18:19


“But its not about causing our mate to grow into our image, it’s about both husband and wife growing into God’s image, together”. (Stormie)

Even if you could get your spouse to be just like you think you wanted, I’m betting you still would not be satisfied. True satisfaction comes from the Lord.

“Ask God to help you and your wife appreciate your differences…The very thing that is designed to be our greatest blessing can often become an irritant because we don’t ask God to let us see it from His perspective”. (Stormie)

I wonder how many times we miss something from God because on the surface it does not appeal to us. I don’t know about you, but I can look back at circumstances which I thought were one way and turned out to be completely different than I expected. I’m talking about lessons learned or good things that happened where I had no clue that would be the end result.

1 Cor. 2:9

That’s why we have this Scripture text: No one’s ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it – What God has arranged for those who love him.


Words are like seeds. They start out small and grow into something big”. (Stormie)

I could stop right there. Because that is some good seed. The incredible power of the tongue/words. Remember, spiritual containers. When that word hits someones soil something will be released, one way or another.

“If a person plants words of anger, indifference, criticism, impatience, or insensitvity in his/her marriage, the fruit of those words will lack of intimacy and warmth, loss of harmony and unity, and the silencing of laughter and joy”. (Stormie)

So in layman’s terms, when Bubba says to his wife Frita, “Why caint u be like other wives”? He is planting a very effective seed. One which can rob them of intimacy, unity and remove the hope for laughter and joy.

“Marriage can seem like heaven. Or it can seem like hell. For most people, it’s somewhere in between. That’s because its not easy becoming one with another person”. (Stormie)

If you have faith as small as a mustard seed … Nothing will be impossible for you Matthew 17:20



  1. Dan O said


  2. mhens said

    very interesting analogy. If we could only hold on to this perspective and get angry with the devil and not just our spouse. we may have a much more powerful prayer life. Michelle

  3. wendriful said

    So how are the moles now? Did you get em? I like the format Danny and Michelle…GREAT teamwork! I appreciate you both immensely (or should I say (Immhensley) lol… Wendy

  4. Dan O said

    Thanks for the reply Wendy. Actually, I tried to get one with a shovel tonight. As I was raising the shovel (I had a flashback of Bill Murray & Caddy Shack). But I was not able to get it.

  5. Dan O said

    “Marriage does not need to be stifling, forcing two people to lose all individuality. Rather, it can actually provide the perfect environment for the gifts of each person to be developed to the fullest”. (Stormie)

    Sounds like we have a responsibility as a marriage partner to create an environment where our spouse can grow. Specifically to allow them to develop whatever gift God has given them. Here are some of the gifts:


    On the other side of “stifling” is “detachment”…

    I have been to restaurants, the mall, church, you name it, and observed single mom’s and dads with children. I do not envy their situation whatsoever. To me its as obvious as the nose on my face, God intended families to be together and not separate.

    One day at McDonald’s (lunchtime) somewhere in Iowa or Wisconsin I watched as a dad parked his car and helped his little 9 – 10 year old girl get her suitcase out of the car. The mother approached from another area of the parking lot. During the hand-off the dad stopped short. The little girl made her way to the mom by herself, for what seemed to be about a ’20 ft’ distance. But that ’20 ft’ symbolized much more of a divide than physical distance, don’t you think?

    You’ve heard the saying, “so close, yet so far away”.

    ’20 ft’ of separation, for the little girl, would forever be a part of her family, even into her married years as an adult. The consequences of that divide would be linked to her confidence, self-esteem, and how she identified God.

    So its not only the gifts of the Father and Mother but the children that can be adversely affected by a detached family.

  6. wendriful said

    For me detachment happens in the mind first, then the emotions (soul). You can be together in the same home at times in your marriage but still be 20′ apart figuratively. God is the only super glue that I have found to keep our family unit together. I know sometimes what I say seems so basic and like: duh??? But for me, getting back to basics is always the place to start when you find that distance dividing you.

    I really like what Stormie is saying about encouraging one to be who they were designed to be instead of a cookie cutter Proverbs 31 wife. (Not that there is anything wrong with the way she (Proverbs 31 lady) does it, but clearly God made us all unique.)

    Is that more than hello Danny? lol.

  7. Dan O said

    I agree. Basics is another way of describing your foundation.

    Isn’t it possible to have the same spirit as the Proverbs wife only you may do some things differently. I don’t think anyone wants to live in Stepford with the all too perfect Stepford wives.

  8. Dan O said

    “But it’s not about causing our mate to grow into our image, it’s about both husband and wife growing into God’s image, together” (Stormie)

    Have you ever caught yourself thinking, why don’t you respond to this situation just like I do? How come you don’t see it exactly the way I do? Huh? Whats wrong wit you, are ya crazy?

    “Through prayer, each one can release the other rather than control; encourage rather than condemn” (Stormie)

    When we condemn, sometimes its just habit, but always it is linked to the thoughts running through our mind.

    We tried a little experiment at our house one Saturday. We explained the negative results of constantly criticizing/condeming others. Then on a white board I drew a chart with our names. The way it worked (for the entire day), everyone had the power to put a negative spec or a positive spec next to the name of anyone one on the board. If you thought that person was being negative you could neg spec them. Or if they were having a positive influence you pos spec them.

    By the end of the day, the results were different then what we expected. One person totally changed their attitude because they were motivated. They did not receive any negative specs at all for the entire day. However, I got one (negative spec) from my 7 year old. Little rascal.

    The point was not to manage your home with a white board. But to demonstrate you can change your behavior. Of course it did not completely solve the problem but it highlighted how our behavior can be modified when your motivated.

    Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life. Proverbs 4.23

  9. mhens said

    good message today! I had forgotten about the board we should do that more often. I like what stormie says about not causing our mate to grow in our own image but the image of God. If I had my own way I would want Dan to be just like me and agree with my every whim and thought but I know that would not be a healthy , growing marriage.

  10. Dan O said

    Really? This is shocking news, you want me to be like you? 🙂

  11. Dan O said


    “Ask God to change what needs to be changed in either of you. Even if it appears that irreparable damage has already been done in your marriage, that the garden has been hopelessly blighted, know that God can and wants to work a miracle”. (Stormie)

    God can do stuff that no one else can. If we listen to the voice of the world we won’t walk by faith. I’ve tried it both ways. There is one way to plant a garden. The faith in God to grow the seed is necessary for us to continue to care for the soil. If you don’t have “faith” in God to grow the seed you won’t spend the necessary time to care for the garden. To work it, water it, run off the pests, plant more good seed, work it some more.

    Marriage is funny sometimes is it not? Friday I was having hard day at work so I began to recall the things of the Lord according to Ps. 77:11,12. Thinking about things God had done, remembering direct answers to prayers. Blessings He has provided. Then Saturday morning Michelle and I were up early (for some reason) and we went through the process again of remembering what God had done in our lives. We built an altar and just remembered and it was powerful. It was a great Saturday at our house, yes it was.

    Then Sunday, Mother’s day, lets just say we had a disagreement of sorts. I was so mad, I really “felt” like I was right and she was wrong. And right now I cannot even remember what it was about. The problem was, she was just as mad at me and believed she was right and I was wrong. And when we attempted to talk about it anger just bubbled out of both of us.

    But because of Mother’s day I really wanted her to have a good day, you know Mothers are suppose to have a special day on Mother’s day. So I swallowed my pride and apologized thinking I was still right. And yea, it was kind of hard to do. But it took more than that because the garden had been dug up and seeds had been thrown outside the garden and bad seeds had landed in the garden. In the midst of the high emotions there was only a little sliver of a thought that we would have a good day. It was so remote I was not even sure through all of the feelings and negative thoughts that we had enough time to save the day (and it was still morning).

    So I had to work at it and make some repairs, all the while thinking I’m right and she is wrong. But realizing the importance of the good seed I continued to work until her day was good and the garden was back to normal (which was before we left church). I made a choice, a choice she has made for me many times.

    Its all about the garden guys/gals!

    I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds Ps. 77:11,12

  12. wendriful said

    Make no mistake, Satan is NOT a vegetarian going after our gardens, HE is a carnivore who goes around the perimeter of the fence seeking where he can sneak in to devour, leaving nothing but carcasses. That’s the word picture that I feel God is giving me this morning.

    Frank and I are emotionally charged as we go through the process of losing Paul Gordon. If you want to hear about what the seeds of one man’s life have produced, read just a few of the comments about him at which is his memorial page.

    ONE of the most profound of the entries found there I think CLOSELY relates to this bible study about seeds and gardens. Here is the post:
    Dear Gordon Family:
    Author, Henri J. M. Nouwen said, “Our death may be the end of our success, our productivity, our fame or our importance among people, but it is not the end of our fruitfulness. In fact, the opposite is true: the fruitfulness of our lives shows itself in its fullness only after we have died. But the beauty of life is that it bears fruit long after life itself has come to an end.”
    John 12:24 says, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”
    The real question before our death, then, is not, How much can I still accomplish, or How much can I still exert to be successful? But, How can I live so that I can continue to be fruitful when I am no longer here among my family and friends? That question shifts our attention from doing to being. Our doing brings success, but our being bears fruit.
    Certainly, Paul Gordon will be missed, but as long as he is remembered in your heart and through your life, he will never be really gone. And one day, we’ll come to understand the full impact of his life when we reach eternity.
    I pray that you’ll continue to find God’s peace in a most difficult time. Even though I was a part of GFS for a short time, actually between ministries, I still draw upon my experiences taken from those years. Mr. Gordon was an encouragement to me and he will continue to bear fruit by the legacy he leaves.

    ~ Ed Gratton, May 12th, 2008

    Thank you SO much Danny and Michelle for making yourselves vulnerable and sharing with us about your disagreement. It’s not that I am happy about it at all, but it just helps me to know that we are not alone in this struggle. We need to pray for those in authority over us.

    Love all of you guys.

  13. Dan O said

    Thanks for sharing about Paul Gorden Wendy. I do think it not only applies to this thread but the scripture in Ps. 77:11,12 about remembering. Sounds like he lived a full life and was well respected.

    Seems like many folks are in a season of change. I could go on and on about things in the industry I work which are changing, things I never thought would change.

    Whats the Pam Thumb song, “Life is hard, God is good”, sumin like that.

  14. buffthebuilder said

    God is not looking for perfectly groomed gardens, he is looking for laborers who will tend the garden and be faithful through thick weeds and thin weeds……………………

  15. Dan O said

    Hey Buff,
    Where you been? Whats up…

  16. Dan O said

    Her Submission pg. 97

    “Submit is a verb. Submitting is a voluntary action. That means it is something we ourselves do”. (Stormie)

    “This may be shocking news to you, but an overwhelming majority of wives in my survey said they want to submit to their husbands. The want their husbands to be the head of the home, and they have no desire to usurp that God-given position of leadership. They know what the Bible says on the subject, and discerning wives want to do what God wants because they understand that God’s ways work best”. (Stormie)

    Its like so many things, do we understand the intended meaning?

    “However, problems arise in this area because a wife is afraid to submit to her husband for two reasons:”

    Reason #1. Her husband thinks submission is only a noun, and he uses it as a weapon.

    Reason #2. Her husband has himself not made the choice in his heart to be fully submitted to God.

    This is one of those topics I think you have to be careful with. Because it can be so easily misconstrued. It seems to me she is saying, if he is doing his part then she wants to do her part?

    Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
    For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
    But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
    Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

  17. mhens said

    submission can be a scary thing. Its putting your trust in someone else and leaning not on your own understanding. It does not say to not have a backbone or an opinion but in the end let your husband have the say so because he is your covering. Sometimes easier said than done.

  18. Dan O said

    Yes, it seems kind of like a balancing act, you do not want to be extreme one way or another.

    And as Stomie said, its a voluntary action. No one can force you to allow your husband to lead.

  19. Dan O said

    Her Submission pg. 99
    “Too often people confuse “submit” with “obey”. But they are not the same thing. The Bible give commands about obeying other people only in regard to children and slaves, and in the context of the local church. ” Eph. 6:11, Eph. 6:5″ (Stormie)

    How can you be a partner for life and best friend with someone you view as your assistant or inferior.

    “Since a wife is neither her husband’s child nor his servant, and the local church isn’t part of the marriage, the word “obey” has no application to the relationship between a husband and a wife”. (Stormie)

    We were at the fine arts meeting last night and Sabrina was working the concessions. I noticed her husband Dan working out around the concessions cleaning up. I asked him and he replied, “I clean up to help her, so she can come home a little earlier”. He was basically serving her and assisting her. There’s a good example of how a husband loves his wife.

    “…when a husband demands submission from his wife, it is no longer true submission”. (Stormie)

    Trying to force someone to submit is as silly as saying, “oh your gonna like me, yes you are”.

    The Message
    Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting.

  20. buffthebuilder said

    We must remember that the devil has a key assignment to destroy our relationships within our family. The battle is NOT flesh and blood but the powers of the persecutor. We must build each other up and acknowledge the Lord in the midst of our relationships and he’ll be lifted up and light our pathways…………………..
    where HE is lifted up, great things will happen. When FAITH enters…..FEAR exits………………………….

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