Posts Tagged compliant child

Compliant children and their behavior

“God did not intend for adults and their parents to have the same relationship as they did when the kids were small”. (Pg. 96) Dr. Dobson

I think that is an interesting statement. It suggests there are parents who continue to treat their child at a certain maturity level though the child should be well past and beyond that stage. He is suggesting this is not the best thing for the compliant child. Maybe because they tend to rely on the adults behavior moreso than a strong-willed child.

“Growth and maturity demand that children wiggle free from their parents clutches and establish independent lives of their own”. (Pg. 96)

He makes a couple of other points about the compliant child, that its challenging for the compliant child to navigate through the daily life style of the strong-willed child. And there is a tendency for the compliant child to internalize their anger.

The best thing we can do for them is provide a firm and certain faith. Teach them their are consequences for their actions.

Let both grow together until the harvest. At 1 harvest time I will tell the reapers, “First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned, but then 2 gather 3 the wheat into my barn.” Matthew 13:30

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The Tough and the Gentle

This chapter discusses some basic difference between the compliant and strong-willed child.

“…this kind of compliant child and his strong-willed sibling are so distinct that they could almost be from different planets.” Pg. 24

Dr. Dobson tells a story about a young mother in the neighborhood whose young child had already established a reputation of defiance. I guess this could would not only talk back to his parents but a neighbor passing by had better be careful what they said to him. One day the kid was on his tricycle riding down the driveway but continued on into the street. The street happened to be a very busy one with fast moving automobiles. The mother ran down the street and grabbed the childs tricylce to redirect it towards the driveway. The child screamed, “Get your dirty hands off my tricycle”. He was furious and throwing a fit in the middle of the road. Amazingly, the mother took her hands off the tricycle and obeyed the child. Even with the consequence of danger at hand, she did not have the courage to defy him.

This begs the question, was the strong-willed child a terrible child or was the parent a dreadful parent?

To simplify it, one child wants to please, the other believes there way is right and even if for some remote instance they come to the understanding their idea may not be correct, they are still willing to wrestle with you so they can at least have the last word.

Dr Dobson also states, “It is my supposition that these temperaments are pre-packaged before birth and do not have to be cultivated or encouraged.”

Proverbs 13:24
A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them.

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